Indeterminate

Jason had a nuclear stress test last Friday as one of the final steps toward transplant.  The cardiology nurse called today to say the results were "indeterminate"...meaning they saw something on the scan which requires further investigation.  He will be scheduled for a CTA (coronary CT angiography) to take a closer look.  We are trusting God for a positive outcome.
We still haven't completely settled into the overnight dialysis.  My nights are fairly restless since I'm not entirely comfortable with Jason's activities while I'm snoozing.  Several times I've woken to find he's stopped the machine, and is sitting on the side of the bed.  When I inquire, he answers that he's headed to the bathroom.  His catheter is surgically implanted inside...and the tubing doesn't reach the bathroom, so it's a bit unsettling each time this happens.  A couple nights ago he screamed, "Ow!!!!"  When I asked what was wrong, he said, "I'm trying to pull this tube out!"  When he's half-asleep, he's just not aware that he's hooked up to the machine.
We are enjoying the added freedom during the daytime.  It's so much easier doing just one manual treatment each day instead of five.  As his kidney doctor said, "Five treatments a day is just not livable"...it left room for little else.  I've been slowly trying to get back on a schedule for cleaning houses. It's been good for me to get out for a few hours, even if the time is spent dusting and mopping.  I've found great solace in the quiet time alone with my thoughts. I work hard to keep my emotions in check around Eli since he doesn't know every detail of the current struggles within our family. Sometimes I need those moments of release.

"I wait for the Lord, my whole being waits, and in His word I put my hope." (Psalm130:5)