Shelter Me Safe

We were running behind as usual this morning.  By the time I'd unhooked Jason from dialysis, and coaxed him into the shower, I only had a few minutes for (much-needed) personal primping.  Eli was wise enough to perceive this wasn't the morning to argue his case about not needing a shower.  Once we were all squeaky clean and properly attired, it was clear we would not be punctual.
As we quietly slid into a pew, our song leader was just announcing the next song.  He requested that the sopranos sing the first verse, with each vocal part joining on the subsequent verses.  Since I've often longed for a lovely alto voice, and find the sound especially soothing, this pleased me.  As I heard the first strains of Nearer, Still Nearer, I felt myself unwind from life's uncertainties.
This is the song I've found myself turning to time and again in the past several months.  Whenever I feel overwhelmed, the lyrics provide solace.  I play it each time I begin to worry about the future of Jason's health. Even as life seems to be unraveling all around me, it never fails to comfort me. When I wake up in the middle of the night, and am unable to breathe while thinking about my dad, I repeat the familiar lines in my head until I fall back to sleep.

1. Nearer, still nearer, close to Thy heart,
   Draw me, my Savior—so precious Thou art!
   Fold me, oh, fold me close to Thy breast;
   Shelter me safe in that haven of rest;
   Shelter me safe in that haven of rest.

1. Nearer, still nearer, while life shall last,
   Till safe in glory my anchor is cast;
   Through endless ages ever to be
   Nearer, my Savior, still nearer to Thee;
   Nearer, my Savior, still nearer to Thee!

http://kleinwood.com/annual-singing/2005/08/05/nearer-still-nearer

The In-Between

Still we wait.  I emailed Jason's transplant coordinator the day he received clearance from cardiology.  I was quite elated as I wrote the message since this had been the last major obstacle before he could be listed. She replied simply, "Yes, received the report yesterday, will review his chart this afternoon."  While brief, at least her message implied action and moving forward.  That was almost a month ago.  I reminded myself that she has numerous patients and responsibilities, so tried to wait for more information.
I managed to wait until last week to contact her again.  She answered that they were in the midst of moving to a new clinic, a couple floors down in the hospital, so hadn't been able to proceed.  She added that she should know more on Monday.  When I didn't hear from her on Monday, I decided to call and talk with her. She told me they are still in the process of trying to update patient records because of the move.  She assured me they would schedule Jason for another appointment at some point.
I truly understand there is a procedure involved, and delays are inevitable. I also know these months may make a real difference for Jason later on.  I know the realities of life on dialysis, and the risks involved.  We have been chasing after the possibility of transplant for nearly a year.  It is especially difficult to sit quietly and wait, knowing he is strong and healthy right now.
Meanwhile, Jason is thriving as he waits.  He has been feeling increasingly energized and perky.  His new favorite phrase this week is, "I'm bored!"  He is no longer content to sit on the couch and watch soap operas.  We have been happily incorporating more activities into his day. After I cleaned a house for five hours yesterday, I returned home to a restless husband who repeatedly informed me that he wanted to go somewhere.  I was attempting to make dinner, so suggested he go for a stroll with Eli. He'd put on his shoes, and was halfway out the door before I realized he was actually going.
Recently, a dear friend remarked how difficult life is in the in-between.  She has been dwelling there for several months herself, for different reasons.  It seems so many of my loved ones find themselves in between as well. In between cancer scans.  In between employment.  In between chemo treatments.  In between relationships.  In between stability and chaos. Thankfully, hope continues to reside in the in-between.  Joy and peace are frequent guests.
"In your presence there is fullness of joy." (Psalm 16:11)

Truly Wonderful

For the past few months, we've been grappling with various choices regarding school for Eli.  Although he has relentlessly pleaded with me to homeschool him, I just don't feel as though it's the right fit for our family. He has been consistently apprehensive about attending public middle school.  During his sixth grade year, Eli had a chance to tour the middle school.  He said it seemed intimidating on the outside, and claustrophobic on the inside.  He has spent the past year worrying about various aspects of attending a new and larger school.  

As summer approached, I began researching the limited alternatives available.  I quickly surmised that quietly slipping a private school tuition into our budget was simply not possible.  As we were running out of options, my sister mentioned a small Christian school that I hadn't remembered to include on my list.  

I spoke with the school, and was extremely pleased with what I learned. After sending in an application, Eli and I attended an interview a few weeks ago.  I was immensely relieved to hear that they would work with us on the monthly tuition.  I will be able to work off part of his tuition at the school, by cleaning or volunteering.  Eli was elated to learn that school is Monday through Thursday, and doesn't start until the day after Labor Day.  The students each have their own cubicles, and work at their own pace.  If Eli finishes his work early for the day, he earns privilege time. He can use this time to work on computers, or interact with other students. They will have chapel, and memorize a Bible chapter each month.  The school has a basketball team, and actually play against my nephew's homeschool team. As Eli absorbed each new piece of information, I saw him slowly exhale the breath he's been holding all summer.  On our ride home, the relief was rolling off him in waves.  We were both talking at the same time, exclaiming over finding the perfect answer.  Once again, God supplied exactly what we needed.

"Truly wonderful, the mind of a child is." -Yoda