God Whispers

I was very affected recently by a wonderful lesson from our minister, Keith.  He shared a passage about Elijah from I Kings 19:
And the word of the Lord came to him: "What are you doing here, Elijah?"  He replied, "I have been very zealous for the Lord God Almighty. The Israelites have rejected your covenant, torn down your altars, and put your prophets to death with the sword. I am the only one left, and now they are trying to kill me too."
The Lord said, "Go out and stand on the mountain in the presence of the Lord, for the Lord is about to pass by."  Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the Lord, but the Lord was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the Lord was not in the earthquake.  After the earthquake came a fire, but the Lord was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper.  When Elijah heard it, he pulled his cloak over his face and went out and stood at the mouth of the cave.
Keith pointed out that God doesn't always come to us in big sweeping ways...often it's a whisper.  I personally have witnessed God's presence in huge powerful ways in my own life.  I can't count how many times throughout our marriage Jason has pulled through a life-threatening situation against all odds.  I've spent numerous hours holding my breath in a waiting room unsure of the outcome of surgeries.  I can still clearly recall the look of one surgeon as he approached me...it was almost bewildered relief.  He simply had not found the extensive damage he'd been dreading/expecting.
This last episode was by far the most traumatic.  A very arrogant doctor took my sister and me into a hallway outside the ICU.  He didn't cushion the blow, but merely stated that there was nothing else they could do for Jason and that he would not survive.  After he made it through those scariest hours, it looked like he would continue to improve.  A couple nights later, he suffered his brain injury when the ventilator tube popped.  One afternoon after he'd been in a coma for a few days, I overheard a nurse asking her coworker, "How long are they going to let him lay there like that?"  It was clear that those caring for Jason feared he would not wake up, or would wake up dramatically changed.  A couple days later, with tears running down her face, his doctor took my father and me into a small room and asked me to sign a DNR (do not resuscitate).  I wish I could say that I was a strong tower in the face of these continual trials.  I admit that I began to lose hope that God would give me the outcome I so desperately sought.  God answered in very big ways...He was there in the wind, earthquakes and fire with me.
Now that life is calmer, God speaks to me in whispers.  Each new day, I am amazed by the quiet blessings He provides in countless ways.  I often feel unworthy and overwhelmed.  Whenever I'm having an especially difficult day, He whispers through a note from a friend or a phone call from my family.  He whispers whenever Jason remembers details from our first date.  He whispers when Jason and Eli giggle through hours of Tom and Jerry together.  He whispers when our daily needs are met in every way.  He whispers through my hope and joy that have replaced fear and despair.
“Be still, and know that I am God"  (Psalm 46:10)